05.21.09 | Lady Sovereign, Chester French | The Crocodile

I arrived at The Croc to catch the last song of local MC, Hollywood. Boisterously commanding the stage in sunglasses sans shirt, he proved to be quite entertaining. Throughout the rest of the night he would mischievously poke his head out from behind the curtain, and ultimately being recognized, or in the case of Chester French, brought out on stage to freestyle along.

Speaking of Chester French, I wasn't (and still am not) quite sure what to make of them. With their backing band The Perverts, Chester French is comprised of singer D.A. Wallach and guitarist Maxwell Drummey (who is married to the lush socialite Peaches Geldof, daughter of Bob Geldof, who spoke at my graduation...) Their music possessed the cocky air that only being young can bring and bordered between legitimacy and comedy. The lyrics were mostly tired rhymes ("hand" and "man"? Come on now! Oldest trick in the book!) or ridiculous ("my penis tip touched her cheek", "she craves affection, so i use protection"). But boy did they know how to entertain. Wallach brought a poor girl on stage and forced her to dance through their whole set (my friend deemed her moves Molly Ringwald). He was able to invoke the audience to clap their hands with a disturbingly terse command of "Hands up!" Their style would be more suited to teenage girls, and not the bevy of middle aged lesbians who came out (pun not intended) for Lady Sovereign.

Beginning the beats was DJ Annalyze and after much chanting of S-O-V, the "biggest midget in the game" hopped on stage. For the record, she did not have a side ponytail as you can see in the photo above. She also is quite petite. Despite her small stature, her stage presence is definitely one to be reckoned with. She flawlessly displayed her lyricism, never missing a beat, which was impressive as grime music tempos typically loiter around 140 bpm. The crowd crowed along to "Love Me or Hate Me" and "Random" and responded to her "S-O" with a resounding "Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Probably because she is intimidating, to me at least. She sprayed beer on the audience twice (hooray) and poured beer into an audience member's eager mouth. Much of the audience seemed to be middle aged lesbian women who could not dance and thus spent much of the evening flapping their butterfly wings and jelly roll, cottage cheese asses around me and into me. Thank god Lady Sovereign was a thoroughly captivating performer or else I would not have put been able to put up with that manhandling for the whole set.
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